Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A Love Letter
Dear Love...
Why is this so hard....I wish you could tell her how deeply I care for her...how my lonely nights become enslaved with the thoughts of her....never sexually...or should I say rarely...Because Love, you and I both know....what happens to the opportunist....I want you to tell her how her smile makes me smile...how he never existed in my eyes because I was so focused on her....I want to but I cant....Im not sure why....this is a mystery to us both...I mean between me and you....because I know you are wondering why in the world would I ask a stranger to deliver a message so sacred....I often wonder the exact same thing......mystery that I cannot solve.....not that I would want to, but I try so hard to do so....paradox I know...but thats the thing.....thats why I cant tell her....the beautiful complex equations that is her essence allows me to want to avoid finding the answer, but why do you ask? What do you do when you are finished with a math problem.....exactly, move on to the next one.....so I want her to know I wanna keep and study her like the world's hardest physics equation....not because shes so hard to figure out but because I AM A NERD....love this is why....this is not based on the physicality of her being, but rather the Einstein aura that embodies her....she understands me....more than any other.....so much so that I sometimes envy her, I rarely understand myself....its funny how I never knew you....but now I cant keep your name off my lips....love that is....love her
Yours truly, Recovering Undercover Lover
Why is this so hard....I wish you could tell her how deeply I care for her...how my lonely nights become enslaved with the thoughts of her....never sexually...or should I say rarely...Because Love, you and I both know....what happens to the opportunist....I want you to tell her how her smile makes me smile...how he never existed in my eyes because I was so focused on her....I want to but I cant....Im not sure why....this is a mystery to us both...I mean between me and you....because I know you are wondering why in the world would I ask a stranger to deliver a message so sacred....I often wonder the exact same thing......mystery that I cannot solve.....not that I would want to, but I try so hard to do so....paradox I know...but thats the thing.....thats why I cant tell her....the beautiful complex equations that is her essence allows me to want to avoid finding the answer, but why do you ask? What do you do when you are finished with a math problem.....exactly, move on to the next one.....so I want her to know I wanna keep and study her like the world's hardest physics equation....not because shes so hard to figure out but because I AM A NERD....love this is why....this is not based on the physicality of her being, but rather the Einstein aura that embodies her....she understands me....more than any other.....so much so that I sometimes envy her, I rarely understand myself....its funny how I never knew you....but now I cant keep your name off my lips....love that is....love her
Yours truly, Recovering Undercover Lover
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Sometimes...d-_-b
Sometimes I tossed and turn at night unable to swim in my thought which are flooded...kinda like you...yea you know that Aquafina flow...kinda strange right? but sometimes I just want a porn star...you know the type, licking and sucking without a second thought in matter...then...sometimes I want the librarian type that will get shy at the thought of doing something freaky....you know the type...so much so that she has to slip me a note in my lunch because she does not want the words to escape her perfect lips....you know the kind....as she walks in a room smelling better than a plate of yams with extra syrup...cuz she already know we southern gentlemen like...so in tuned with my needs....yea that's right we share the same station....sometimes I like to be random....just because ya know...light a match just to see the flame start...and end...on the tip of my tongue....but that called passion...sometimes, ya dig....yea I might be that dude who cuddles his pillow wishing it was "her" on the other side....sometimes I use "her" because I hate the term,"better half" although I do understand the concept...I was incomplete until I found you....yea that's sweet...but I do not want to think of myself as a half of anything, but rather that I have yet to reach my full potential, sometimes....but that's only sometimes you see....because other times....I am cocky...considering the meaning of the word...cock-y...erecting myself so that you can see and take note of what of real man looks like, not feel because I don't wanna be bothered sometimes....and I can be the most beautiful person...simply catering, pleasing, and satisfying every need you have....then sometimes...I just wanna curse...not at you, never that...but at this world because they have no clue how hard it is being a black man....sometimes...but I understand how hard it is for you....my black queen...I hope a get a chance for my crown...sometimes
Something about me (random)
I guess I am going to tell you....well you see I would love to take you out....not to a club nor a party...but to a nice restaurant or a cozy bookstore. And no I am not ashamed to say that sometimes I just want to cry, simply because I do not know what else to say.
But this is just something about me.
Yes I considered myself to be quite sensitive but you see that is the very place where I find my strength. Imagine the capacity and humbling levels of my "nice-ness" but this is only because I have seen true horrors that you could only fathom.
But this is just something about me.
You may say that I am too complex or too hard to understand...but sometimes I would rather not be understood, simply because I want an audience. Sometimes I want people to gather around me as I make prophetic predictions on the world that may never come true...simply because I do not want them too, not because they are not possible or are bound by some law or higher power....but because I change my mind.
But this is just something about me.
Yes I will admit I live in my own world but here, there are no confusing politics or contradicting laws...and I can say, "I don't have a cheese" when I really mean I do not have a process....you know Kraft single, cheese that is processed...
THIS IS MY WORLD and yes I am weird
But this is just something about me....but despite all of this she is intrigued by me, the very essence of her being invites me to learn more about myself if that makes sense....but it really does not because she can make 2 + 2 = 6 and I would teach it too my children like a new doctrine...she is my god....not that I worship her...but that I wont mind giving her part of my check....I wont mind bearing her cross....in my mind and heart, knowing that's where she will always stay. YES you could say that I am hopeless, hopelessly in love with the idea of loving her, love that is, as I lay her down at night remove her heels and undress her just to massage her in and out, yea that's right....making love to Love, and she feels so good...as we play the game of her, catching all that I throw and returning the velocity...hmm I wonder if I throw a curve....result HOMERUN.....as she whispers in my ear....Damn, there's just something about you.
But this is just something about me.
Yes I considered myself to be quite sensitive but you see that is the very place where I find my strength. Imagine the capacity and humbling levels of my "nice-ness" but this is only because I have seen true horrors that you could only fathom.
But this is just something about me.
You may say that I am too complex or too hard to understand...but sometimes I would rather not be understood, simply because I want an audience. Sometimes I want people to gather around me as I make prophetic predictions on the world that may never come true...simply because I do not want them too, not because they are not possible or are bound by some law or higher power....but because I change my mind.
But this is just something about me.
Yes I will admit I live in my own world but here, there are no confusing politics or contradicting laws...and I can say, "I don't have a cheese" when I really mean I do not have a process....you know Kraft single, cheese that is processed...
THIS IS MY WORLD and yes I am weird
But this is just something about me....but despite all of this she is intrigued by me, the very essence of her being invites me to learn more about myself if that makes sense....but it really does not because she can make 2 + 2 = 6 and I would teach it too my children like a new doctrine...she is my god....not that I worship her...but that I wont mind giving her part of my check....I wont mind bearing her cross....in my mind and heart, knowing that's where she will always stay. YES you could say that I am hopeless, hopelessly in love with the idea of loving her, love that is, as I lay her down at night remove her heels and undress her just to massage her in and out, yea that's right....making love to Love, and she feels so good...as we play the game of her, catching all that I throw and returning the velocity...hmm I wonder if I throw a curve....result HOMERUN.....as she whispers in my ear....Damn, there's just something about you.
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